#13 - 'Just Kidding' and 'Ganging Up' from Odd Girl Out, by Rachel Simmons

      I have experienced many situations of students at school being bullied, teased, or excluded - and I myself am guilty of letting it happen. I don't consider myself a bully. To me, bullies are what Hollywood and cartoons have portrayed them to be: kids who steal lunch money, pick on kids smaller than them, and tease others about their hair, clothes, shoes, etc. One thing Hollywood and cartoons have not done however, is show how cliques, gangs, groups and alliances can make or break a student's reputation at school. Everyone wants to be a part of the "in-crowd", but not many people can be. In middle school, I was definitely what Hollywood would consider popular. I had countless friends, boys liked me, teachers adored me, and I was a great person to be around. I was never open to making new friends however, until one incident. Myself and a group of my peers were sitting at our usual lunch table, and a new student - her name was Andrea - took it upon herself to sit at our table without asking. Everyone looked at me as if to say, "Are you going to make her leave, or what?". I was never a mean person, but I thought to myself, She doesn't belong here anyway. Without compassion, I made her leave the table and exit the lunchroom on the verge of tears. I felt horrible afterwards, and never could let myself speak to her again, let alone look her in the eyes. This point in my school career is much different from then. I've realized how horrible it was for me to do that. Now I try not to exclude other students when possible. At the same time however, why not be honest here - everybody likes to stay within their comfort zone. Allowing others into our personal bubble is just not an option. We pick our friends and we stick with those friends, nobody else, because that is what we are comfortable doing. I believe the best solution to avoid people from being excluded or hurt, is to allow ourselves to be open to new friendships. It isn't wrong for anyone to want to be a part of a group or clique - belonging to one can sometimes give the backbone most people need to survive school - but it is wrong when that group or clique is mean to a person, for no apparent reason. Gangs, alliances, affiliations - whatever! - in my opinion, are outdated.